Destigmatising Therapy - Honest Answers to Common Questions

We’re constantly reminded to “reach out for help” or “talk to someone” when life gets overwhelming. However for many of us, we don’t actually know what that “looks like”. “What do people actually talk about in therapy?”

Maybe you’ve considered going to therapy yourself or perhaps someone close to you has nudged you in that direction.  For lots of people, the idea of going to see a psychologist for the first time brings up a lot of questions – and often some anxiety too. If this sounds like you, let us introduce you to what therapy looks like the Wildflower way.  

What is therapy really like? 

Yes, therapy involves talking, but therapy at Wildflower is about connecting with you as an individual. We work within a holistic model of care which means we nurture the whole person and are focused on understanding the “why” behind one's symptoms or frustrations to aid in alleviating distress - whatever that may look like for you. We don’t have a one size fits all approach to therapy - instead we draw from a range of therapeutic interventions and techniques to tailor therapy to suit your needs and wants, whatever they may be. If we’re connecting with young people, we’re likely playing games, being creative, and integrating therapy within that. If we’re working with adults, sometimes we pull out a piece of paper or a whiteboard and draw some terrible pictures of a brain or some stick figure people to help explain what may be going on. Depending on the day there can also be some laughing, crying or swearing. There’s no cardio, scary procedures or mind-reading involved, it’s just human-to-human connection through the lens of listening, building rapport and offering strategies to assist what it is that you are facing.  

How is that any different than talking to my sister or best friend?  

Friends and family can be a super helpful source of support, love, fun, and help in our lives, especially in managing the ups and downs that we all experience.  

However, there are three main differences between this and therapy.  

The first is that friends and family love us and therapists, well….don’t. Because important people in our lives care about us, they often want to jump in, find a solution and ‘fix it’ when we have a problem or are upset. This is completely understandable but sometimes it means we don’t get a chance to really figure out what we feel or what feels right to us. One of the most important things that happens in therapy is people get a bit of space to think about their life, emotions, and goals without worrying about what other people feel or think is best. Therapists are here to provide a safe, accepting space – we leave the bossing, worrying and nagging to your Mum or big sister.  

The second major difference is that psychologists are trained to listen carefully for underlying beliefs and patterns in people’s stories. Exploring these can really help understand WHY something is happening and from there, figure out if some changes or strategies might make life a bit easier or more enjoyable or meaningful. That’s where the change begins - not by telling you what to do but by helping you understand yourself more deeply. 

The third big difference is sometimes the advice that your best friend, sister, brother or mum is providing you is perpetuating the difficulties that you are feeling in your life, or are the cause of the distress in your life. Therefore having a completely mutual and unbiased third perspective from a psychologist allows you the chance to reflect on what is happening and create change that is healthy for you. 

Does this mean there’s something wrong with me if I go to therapy?

Absolutely not. It’s common in first sessions for people to feel like there is something “wrong” with them. That old and stigmatising language that talks about “insane” or “crazy” people or stereotypes of doctors wearing white in a white room treating ‘patients’ against their will still comes to mind for many people when they think of mental health care.  

First, we don’t wear white, and our rooms are warm, welcoming, colourful places with couches. 

Second, we don’t treat people against their will. Whether to attend therapy is entirely up to you, whether to continue therapy is up to you and what is talked about in therapy is up to you. You can come once and never return. You can come for a few sessions and if you feel you’re back on track, you can stop coming - these decisions are totally up to you. There’s no pressure from us, ultimately you know yourself and your life best. We’re here to help if you feel it could benefit you.  

Third – and most important – no, going to therapy does not mean there is something wrong with you. Society is shifting but unfortunately, there’s still a ton of stigma around mental health care. Our clients (and psychologists) are regular people juggling school, university, relationships, jobs, kids, parents, never-ending laundry and rising fuel prices. Many psychologists also see their own therapist. At Wildflower we view emotional challenges as something that’s a normal part of being a human in a complicated world. Most people will experience challenges that feel bigger than they can manage alone at least once in their life. Going to therapy when you need to is no different than going to the GP when you’ve got an ear infection. It means you’re a human being having an uncomfortable human experience and seeking out the care you need to feel better.  

What kinds of things do people come to therapy for? 

As many reasons as there are people. Some super common ones are feeling depressed or anxious, struggling to manage emotions, wanting to understand your neurodivergent brain, concern about your own or someone else’s alcohol or drug use, difficulties in relationships (all kinds, not just romantic), parenting or work stress, grief and loss, or coping with big changes. 

Lots of people worry that they “shouldn’t” need therapy because they think their problems aren’t as big as other peoples. At Wildflower, we welcome it all. You don’t need to hit a breaking point to seek support - you deserve to be heard, valued, and nurtured along the way. 

What if I just cry the entire time? 

It happens. We’ve got tissues.  

Will I see any benefits?

Many people report to experience positive changes in coming to therapy. However, we can't speak on behalf of everyone. The research indicates that the biggest predictor of "success" in attending therapy is the quality of the therapeutic relationship, which leads us to our next point. What if I don't gel with my therapist?

What if I don’t like my therapist? 

Get a new one. One of the most important parts of effective therapy is the relationship between therapist and client. The fancy word for this is therapeutic alliance, the less fancy explanation is that therapy works much better when you like the therapist.  

It’s a bit like dating. You might have to try a few before you find one you ‘click’ with.  

It’s good to give a therapist a chance, especially if this is new or you’re feeling very anxious, but if you’re just not that into them – email admin and request a switch. We won’t be offended, promise. We’ve all got our own style and approach, no one therapist will be the right fit for everyone, we want you to have a good experience. If you’re not feeling it, we’d rather you see someone who suits you better so you can get the support you need because at the end of the day your mental health is our priority. 

Do you tell anyone what I talk about? 

No. Your therapist will go over this in the first session but overall, what you say in therapy (or even the fact that you come to therapy) is confidential unless we’re seriously worried about someone’s safety, which if we are we would always discuss with you what next steps need to be taken. 

I’ve still got questions 

We love questions. Email us at info@wildflowerholisticservices.com